I never knew that studying energy medicine would lead to wealth and a law of attraction I couldn’t stop if I tried.
You see the thing is, we’re always attracting.
We attract things we think about, we attract things we want and things we don’t want.
Say you want to take a week off of work, but you don’t.
So you get sick and are forced to take a week off.
Or you want a water view so you manifest an issue in your house and are forced out of your non-water view house and into a VRBO with a water view.
The universe is always working for you.
Even the shitty parts that suck, the days where you’re like WTF is going on and why in the hell would I manifest THIS disaster.
Then you look back and you see all the gifts it brought you.
In my case, part of my past of chronic health issues forced me to seek out alternative medical practitioners and earth medicine.
For more than a decade my health has been my biggest challenge and through a year-long dark night of the soul and traveling across the country to see muscle testers, I’ve learned A TON about healing and how crucial mind work is when healing from chronic illness.
If I can manifest a healthier body through thinking better thoughts about healing, the same thing can be done for money.
If we can attract money, we can hold money and we can expand money.
Just like energy.
If we learn how to build energetic protection and boundaries and expansion with our energy, the same thing can be done for money.
Loving what you’re reading/feeling/what’s being activated within you?
You don’t really know why and no one can tell from looking at you, even looking at your eyes in the mirror, you don’t even know why or what’s going on.
It’s December 2020 and I just finished my first round of gratitude goodbye letters to my parents because I’m thinking, this is it, I’m leaving.
I tell my husband who’s sitting across the table from me that I want him to find a happy, healthy, fun Mama for our boy and that he deserves a loving wife. That I won’t be upset if he remarries fast, but to remember me in the good times.
He thinks I’m being dramatic and tries to convince me (mostly himself) that I’m not going anywhere.
I look in the mirror and my skin is yellow. I’m hunched over and there’s nothing left for me.
I’m eating the food my healing chef has prepared for me because I’ve been told by my cardiologist that I have POTS.
What the hell is POTS? Good question, I didn’t know either. It’s basically a feeling that you’ve run a marathon after you walk down the stairs. When I’m making pancakes for my boy, my heart gets up to 125 and I have to lay down before I pass out.
I don’t know why a 36 year-old healthy, former fitness instructor woman can barely stand up to make breakfast, but here we are.
I can’t get a deep breath, it feels like I’m only inhaling 40% of my lung capacity and I’ve had 3 panic attacks in the last 6 months, after never having anxiety before.
You can see it right? Something is off and there has to be a source.
When I saw POTS, I was like, BUT WHY? When I saw my Epstein Barr Virus numbers had doubled in a year, I asked, BUT WHY!?
I’m eating clean, organic, whole foods, getting fresh oxygen outside, I’m detoxing my ass off in this EMF infrared sauna and feeling like death after but nothing is working.
I was doing everything, listening to meditations, taking epsom salt baths, eating every color of the rainbow, drinking enough water to drown someone and still, I’d lay there breathless at night wondering why my tongue was so big and why I couldn’t swallow.
I got a lymphatic drainage massage that almost killed me and had to schedule a RUSH HYDRATION IV drip to bring some color back to my body.
The drip worked except the next day I had a fever.
I wasn’t even thinking about the hives I had gotten over the last two years because compared to my inability to swallow, the hives didn’t feel like a big deal. That was until we took our brand new trailer out for a spin and after getting a drink I had gotten 100’s of times, my lips blew up.
That damn decaf coconut milk latte attacked me. My eyelids, lips and cheeks were HUGE and it was the first time I was scared of the hives. Seeing your lips expand is truly terrifying.
After 11 years of going to countless doctors, progressively getting worse than better I found an angel who is a gene expert who specializes in MOLD TOXICITY.
I hadn’t even heard about it until I told her my symptoms and before my test results came back, she guessed I was literally dying from toxic mold.
She was right.
Glyphosphate was making it’s pretty little home in my bloodstream, along with Aspergellis and Stach something, it’s a long name that means black mold. Along with other things I can’t talk about right now due to legalities.
I was so happy that finally there was a root to these symptoms, what I didn’t know was that detoxing from mold was going to be very tricky and that over the next 3 months I’d have herxheimer reactions, which means you’re detoxing too fast and it reaaaaaallly hurts.
The most painful/annoying place that the mold has taken over is my lungs.
I’m not a smoker, not a drinker, don’t eat processed foods, exercise (used to, now I go for light walks) and here I am feeling like a 90 year-old smoker. But it’s not like that every day… just most.
My doctor assures me I’m in Phase I of detoxing and says I have about 9 more months to go. We’ll see, my optimism blinds me at times and my inner fire (rage) is like, “watch how fast I can do this!”
I’ve learned that mold moves slowly in most women and takes on average, a year and a half to fully release it’s greedy palms.
I’ll be writing more about the journey here, but if you know someone who’s healing (I don’t like to say struggling/fighting) from mold toxicity, check on them. Most likely they aren’t okay, feel like they are dying every other week and will remember the supporters forever.
This is an epidemic and if you’re struggling with symptoms like these, get yourself tested and don’t take your doctor dismissing you and writing you a prescription for something they’re guessing “might help.”
This picture below was taken during a photo shoot when I was having a panic attack that I smiled my way through. I kept trying to convince myself that I was safe, but it wasn’t up to me. The toxic mold was taking over happy chemicals in my brain and their toxins caused very negative thinking patterns.
If the pandemic taught me anything it’s don’t take anything for granted.
If the mold diagnosis has taught me anything, it’s to always do your research and if something doesn’t feel right, NEVER STOP until you find the answers.
Basically, if you’re in this experience with me (detoxing from mold or helping a friend/family member through this), these are the most helpful pieces of wisdom I can give you:
drink a ton of clean, filtered water
work with a professional as you detox
get your house tested for mold spores
don’t give up
stay in a gratitude mindset as much as you can
don’t exercise when you just don’t have it in you
remember this is temporary
if the sauna is too much, work on your detox pathways
castor oil packs are legit
sleep as much as you can to aid in healing
read You Are the Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza
read as many books about healing as you can
book energy healing sessions
book hypnotherapy sessions
have healthy, organic food – you’ll be eating a ton of meat and veggies for the next year
remove sugar, dairy, gluten, peanuts, alcohol, caffeine, chocolate, mustard and spices (mustard, coffee, chocolate and black pepper is known for being moldy)
if you must drink coffee, buy the Bulletproof brand (it’s mold-free)
